🎵 Christmas cypher // by ANGiE A.K.

5 ContributorsChristmas cypher Lyrics Um, excuse me what the actual fuck are you doing in my hou— ANGiE A.K. died on the cross for your sins (Ho, ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!) [Verse 1: Blissom] Yea you know we got that fuckin' list And you know we're checkin' it twice Dropping presents in the night time Better hope you were fuckin' nice And I don't really care If I'm topping Mr. or Mrs. Claus I'm just tryna get some Of that Christmas cum [Verse 2: Afraid of the Dark?] (Society be like) Santa Claus is right above us He'll hop in the vent just like Among Us Santa Claus is right above us Hop in the vent just like Among Us The only thing I want for Christmas Is a family not so religious I'm scarеd what my grandpa will think when I get herе in a skirt so suspicious The only thing I want for Christmas Is to be much less ambitious I'm scared that I'll die while my days go by and I make shitty beats [Verse 3: flexii.] (flexii.) Christmas is B list (B list) You forgot about Jesus (Jesus) 'Tis the season for the (for the) father son the holy spirit Confessing all your sins 'Cause you know you're protestant Never had a single bitch 'cause you practice abstine-ne-ne-ne— Don't kiss under the mistle this Christmas Only thing you should be kissing is Jesus I kinda wanna kiss his penis, but I cannot sin so I must resist Oh Jesus (Oh, oh, oh J-J-Jesus, Jesus, J-J— Je—) Gods the only— [Verse 4: slothchild] (Bear Club!) My idea of a perfect Christmas Is hanging out with Mrs. Claus Who the fuck gives a shit about Santa? I'm gonna leave his ass blue-balled 'Cause Mrs. Claus has been dealing with comphet I'm tryna ease her out of it Snows defrosting she's kind of wet Santa Claus owes me debt (This song uses the Helvetica Neue type face) [Verse 5: eclipsis] Uh, had too much to drink All of this eggnog went straight to my brain Been stuffing my stocking with all this champagne Yeah Santa is Bladee and Christmas is drained Don't live in a house I'm in gingerbread mansion All of the elves giving me this attention I stack this tree to a different dimension You got any more of these reindeer to mention? We all in the cold and it's freezing You know it's that time of the season We all miss the holiday spirit 'Cause walking around I don't feel it The slowing of molecules won't stop my flow I'm the coldest of natural phenomena and I've been Shoveling sleet and the snow Yeah sure I'm a cop out, know I gotta drop out [Interlude: Afraid of the Dark?] [?] Santa Claus? Is this for Santa Claus? I love Santa Claus! (Ugh) That guy's dope (An Among Us reference?) I hope he like (What is this, 2020?) Stays in my chimney, or whatever so I can like (Among Us is so last year) [?] or something (No one cares, dude) Ugh, dude I feel that (No one cares) Yeah, I definitely feel that (Stop talking about, like, Christmas stuff) (No one cares, seriously dude) [?] [Verse 6: cat.flp] (Woah! cat.flp?) (Hoe, shut the fuck—) The only thing that I would top is a chimney Bitch I'm a queen, I'm not kingly Hand out the gifts, no I don't do it grimly Put up my lights, they not dimly lit I got a gift for you So hurry up, open up quick I hope you like it and you like what I get Merry Christmas from .flp cat, yeah Jolly Old season, it's bubbly like Fanta I live in the present, I'm better than Santa I don't need a reindeer, I already slay And I'm givin' the gifts, there's one comin' your way And I wrapped it all pretty, took more than a minute I hope that you smile when you see what's in it Just kidding, I don't hope, I know that you'll love it And go check your stocking, I made sure to stuff it [Verse 7: Cullan] All I want for Christmas is to gargle balls Suck it from the back, make him paint the walls Don't want no coal but I do want his sack Sounding like Mariah when he hit it from the back Love the Jewish boys too, mazel tov I like 'em with the skin, and I like it cut off Ya boy is like Starbucks, welcomes all religions So happy holidays, now give me your semen Gotta give a shout out to the big Jeezy Christ Without his love and wisdom, I would have no light Don't know where I'd be without him to guide me So this year I'm thankful for a man inside me I'm loving Christmas (yuh) I got hot boys on my Wishlist (yuh) Stay the fuck outta my business (fuck) I'll fuck your dad and then ask for forgiveness [Verse 8: leastfavorite!] I-I-I-I-I-I-I been fuckin' Mr. Claus when his wife isn't looking She be in the kitchen with the elves makin' me cookies Drinkin' Santa's milk, it tastes like sugar and spice Ima leave Saint Nick feelin' naughty and nice (Ho-ho-ho!) She found me out and now I cannot stay here Hop in the whip and it's powered by reindeer Then we take flight and I'm feelin' so wintery Second time tonight I'm handlin' deliveries Got these two lists but I'm not gonna check You get presents if you're trans and you listen to Gecs [Verse 9: Z the Stranger] Candy painted whip, get to flying with a big bag Got the red suit, Steve Harvey keep the shit stashed Gone around the world so many times, it gave me whip lash Put you on the naughty list, sit down with your bitch ass Stocking hung up, leave a sock on the doorknob Got your man sipping my eggnog, wishing you’re on What I be on, I’m beyond this shit You’re just another elf for me to pee on, now be honest Do you think your spirit is enough to step to me, you’re peasantry I put candles on your deadened tree You got coals nearby, the shit’s spreading Your presence in the present leaves you present-free Cracking eggs in the winter like Vespertine Put the holly in the blunt, now I’m focused, been the coldest Blowing clouds to the sky so it keeps snowing Eat the— (Ha-Hahaha) [Jersey Club Section] Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce (Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce) Wanna give it to ya all night long or from the (Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce) Back but now I wanna snatch my cat back (You know ya—) [Verse 10: boxkitty] [?] (Bounce, bounce ha, bounce, bounce ha) [?] compare (Bounce, bounce ha, bounce, bounce ha) (Bounce, bounce ha, bounce, bounce ha) (Bounce, bounce ha, bounce, bounce ha) (Bounce, bounce ha, bounce, bounce ha) (Bounce, bounce ha, bounce, bounce ha) (Bounce, bounce ha, bounce, bounce ha) [?] Christmas (Bounce, bounce ha, bounce, bounce ha) (This is a certified hood classic) [Verse 11: futureseeker] Wake up, 5 am, got me feeling crazy Didn't sleep enough, yeah I'm seein' hazy That's just Christmas morning, I've been waiting 8 weeks Feel like a kid again but I'm just nineteen Once upon a time I was feeling care free Beyblades in the stocking, rip a spinnin' guillotine Yeah, but now I'm worried, tryna set their heads free That's just growing up, headless Santa, watch him bleed [Verse 12: julix] Tell a little elf bitch, run they shit Naughty or nice I hit devious licks Stealing all the toys out the back, fuck your whip Middle finger in the air, I feel like the Grinch Jingle Bell Rock suck my girl cock Dropping these toys all around the block Sippin' on 'nog by the yule log Checking my stocking, hope I get something pog Switch up the flow like New Horizons Who's the president? Joe (Byron) Are you vaccinated? Hell yeah Are you vaccinated? Hell yeah (Hahahahahahahaha) [Verse 13: Khromatic] Don’t you “ho ho” me, do you know what I’m about? I’m the little drummer girl that’s stickin’ her dick in Mrs. Claus’s mouth Sorry this is how you’re findin’ out, but your time ran out Let me finish ending her drought I’m a certified gingerbread homewrecker You’re a piece of shit who ain’t got nothin’ better Did you like this gift? Was it on your wish list? See you next year, have a merry fucking Christmas [Verse 14: Skyeee5554] (Charli XCX: Don't let me, don't let me go) I'm so sorry (I just wanna let you know that I'm no angel) Fuck- off- (But I can learn, oh) I been on my grind Fuck- off- (Baby, I'm bad to the bone) Don't- need you (I just wanna let you know that I'm no angel) Kiss it, Santa Boys tryna text, are you obsessed? (But I can learn) Parents ask "do you know 'em"? Full send snow and shovel, I Spleef 'em This Christmas Imma pop off Always on form, what you do wrong? Is that enough Christmas for you? (Get down the Mountain Dew and listen to ANGiE A.K.) [Verse 15: GRIMVVICE] It's a GRIMVVICE Christmas Mrs. Klaus going crazy but I just put the tip in Eggnog with the Smirnoff yeah that's what I'm sippin' Ima give Ari everything on her wish list Fuck coal, if you're naughty I'm sending goons to your home And we gonna end with a— (Oh, don't do it, yeah—, oh my God) Me and Santa not the same but we both got hoes She love Christmas so much she put white in her nose Diamonds from the North Pole the way they froze Sorry for the frostbite the way I keep on your toes If you ain't rock with HA you can't rock with me Happy holidays from the NYC Set this shit on fire like the Fox News tree [Verse 16: f1nley] Built a gingerbread house out of thin fucking air Last week's the buzz of a lifetime, bet y'all don't fucking care Nebita up in my DM's said they'd annotate the lines Y'all don't mess with me or I'm goin' make another doc in no time Spent the last day on the motherfuckin' lore grind Got the process down with the notes, it's all streamlined Shawty hit me up with Santa's cookies on the counter I said "babe, check your Goopmail", feel so lake when I'm around her [Verse 17: phosphine] I really like Christmas, I think that it's the shit Don't fuck with my wish list, I won't be cool with it Just kidding, it's not a big deal I just wanted to eat this meal That you made for us to eat You did a great job on the meat I can't wait for the meet and greet I can't wait to eat all the treats I'm too young to drink Eggnog, but it's okay I'll come along This has been my Christmas verse I hope you like it, it's the worst I wrote the lyrics in like, five minutes That's all I got, Merry Christmas (B-b-b-b-bangarang! Bass—) [Verse 18: nyancrimew] This is revenge of the naughty kids Hacking Santa with our root kits All Santas are bastards Cracking his crypto, easy peasy, RSA Root shells on his fucking PDA (B-b-b-b-bangarang! Bass—) Been wishing for gifts for years All I ever get are my own tears Ima kill that bastard with a knife And have gay sex with his wife All Santas are bastards (B-b-b-b-bangarang! Bass—) [Interlude: Talking] So, that's my portfolio, I'll give you uh— I could give you another one if you want Can we— can we just get like a— an [?] sample pack where it's just— them making bed sound— bed s— (I— I...) [?] are you having a stroke? I'm— My bed is squeaking! [Chorus: mothgirl] My heart is frosty Baby, will you love me? Mistletoe just kiss me Hold my hand, it’s cold outside Be my north star shining in the sky Meet me in the manger show me how to fly Turn my water into wine Promise me it'll be fine After all, it's Christmas time After all, it's Christmas time It's Christmas time [Chorus: mothgirl] My heart is frosty Baby, will you love me? Mistletoe just kiss me Hold my hand, it’s cold outside Be my north star shining in the sky Meet me in the manger show me how to fly Turn my water into wine Promise me it'll be fine After all, it's Christmas time After all, it's Christmas time It's Christmas time